Monday, November 9, 2009

I just dont have "time"!

I gotta work out. I keep saying it all the time. I keep saying I gotta start working out. It's been about two months since I've worked out. And I just don't have the time. Which odd. Because I have the time to go out to dinner. And uh..and watch tv. And get a bone density test. And uh.. try to figure out what my phone number spells in words.
Ellen DeGeneres
I Love this quote, its been something that has been bouncing around my brain.  I feel constantly constricted for time.  I haven't blogged in awhile, because i don't have time, I haven't exercised because I just don't have time.   Tracking my points..takes too much time.   All the excuses to fudge on things I need to do for myself.  All because I'm lacking this ever elusive "time" thing.  I was watching ellens stand up comedy show, and I heard her do this joke.  I laughed of course, but I laughed more because it struck me. I am the same way.  I read an entire book the other day (I read really fast so 500+pgs in a day is an easy thing)  Then I turned around and said I didn't have time to go to the gym.  Or go for a walk.   This week I was supposed to be tracking everything I have eaten down to the last crumb.   So far I've written down my food, but haven't figured out the points value of the food.  which makes it useless.   I think the problem I'm having is the past few weeks I have lost weight (slowly, omg so slowly) when I go to weigh in, and I haven't exercised or even really tracked what I'm eating.   I'm still losing, so my subconcious or my lazy self is saying I'm doing okay with out it.   My analytical brain is telling me that I could be doing SO MUCH MORE.  I'm tired of losing 1lb a week.  I want to up that to 2 to 3 lbs at least.  I'm large enough that it shouldn't be a huge obstacle .
On a more positive note, i HAVE lost weight. And more appropriately I have kept it off for a period of 7 weeks.   To me that's amazing, I don't think I have ever kept a downward slide in my weight loss for more than a period of a month at best. I"m 5.6lbs from my 5% goal.  I do feel Better in a lot of ways. But I know I need to commit to and find time for some activity in my life. Before I joined weight watchers I was going to the gym all the time.   It helped me tone up and size down a bit, but I never dropped a pound of weight.  I did this for about 5 months.   I was SO extremely frustrated. I started to let my gym time slip.  A trainer told me that I needed to get my nutrition in order, because weight loss was 85 percent nutrition and 15 percent activity.   So I used my gym money to join weight watchers.  i don't regret it at all, but I think I have to rejoin the gym.  I need a place to go that I can just lose myself in my headphone and get my sweat on.  I don't like working out at my boyfriends house, his idea of activity is walking from the couch to the bathroom.  My favorite time to work out is when I get off work at 4am, but its not safe to go walking in my city at that time.  So without a gym membership I'm stuck at home with my tapes.  And they get pretty boring. 
I keep forgetting that losing weight is about "myself" and if you forget to make time for yourself, you will end up failing.  And failure is just not an option in my world anymore.  I refuse to accept failure as the final result.  
current weigh in analysis.
pre WW weight   367lbs
week 1 weigh in   360.4 lbs  ( -7 )
week 2 weigh in   356.8 lbs  ( -4.4 )
week 3 weigh in   357.8 lbs  ( + 1 )
week 4 weigh in   356.8 lbs  (- 1 )
week 5 weigh in   353.6 lbs  (-3.2)
week 6 weigh in   352.6 lbs  ( -1)
week 7 weigh in   351.2 lbs  (- 1.4)
total weight loss 16.2 lbs in a period of 8 weeks.   so yay me!
these weeks goal.. MAKE TIME!

1 comment:

  1. I know how hard it is for that time thing to fit into your life. I have had to realize that I have to do my activity first thing in the morning because after work I easily talk myself out of it. So, I have sacrificed an hour of sleep and get up at 5:30 to do my activity. I get it done before I have to get my kids up and off to school buses. Now, that being said, yesterday was my first day back in activity since I found out I have an infection in the veins in my right shin. So, it sucks. However, I am determined not to let it be my ultimate excuse to never be active again.
    Stick with it! You can do the activity thing, jsut gotta know you want it!